Sun, 20 May 2012 14:58:34 -0800WeeblyMon, 01 Aug 2011 11:59:50 -0800http://eilatheartist.com/1/post/2011/08/acceptance.htmlI hear from many people that I should be angry or depressed about my condition or frustrated with the doctors not being able to come to a complete resolution with my condition.  I have seizures that can not be controlled (as of yet).  I do have days that are VERY difficult.  And that I wish that they were few and far between.  The seizures take a lot out of me.  The consequences can have multiple affects, both with fatigue and secondary injuries (which can take months to repair).  I do however accept that life itself comes with pain.  If anyone has told you otherwise, you have been grossly misled.  Life is itself about pain and how we handle that pain.  If you are fortunate enough you will endure pain through some wonderful event like skiing and get a broken leg and have a wonderful story to tell people at the end of it.  Many like myself, have a type of pain that is a bit different, but it is still a pain that comes with a story and that I accept just the same.  It just IS.  It is a part of me.  And as it is a part of my life, I just try to enjoy all the parts of my life that I can.  I see all the little parts that are good.  The birds singing in the morning, my dogs giving me a hug, and having a nice meal with my husband.  It is the small things in life that bring us joy and let the pain wash away.  We can't change the hand that life has dealt us, but we can just learn to accept it
]]>Tue, 31 May 2011 17:01:37 -0800http://eilatheartist.com/1/post/2011/05/hospital-stay.htmlGot out of the hospital after a five days of vigorous testing for seizure disorders in order to determine what type of seizures I have. Five days of only 2 hours of sleep.  Five days of in bed with 27 electric lead attached to your head (which is very itchy).  My blood sugar levels were all over the board - very high to very (scary) lows.  I passed out several times, just with the diet they allowed me to eat.  The radical swings in blood sugar plays so hard on my body. My body just can't handle these types of the drastic swings.  In judst five minutes my blood sugar can rise so fast to over 300, the plummate to under 50.  I have been to Mayo Clinic several times for testing and they had concluded that I have damage to my vagus nerve and that controls many autonomic functions, throughout the body. Unfortunately, the University of Chicago neurological team was not able to elaborate on that dignosis.  They were able to explain to my more about epilopsy and that there would be :footprints" In my brain wave, if I did have epilepsy.  So, we did get a piece of information.  however, it still remains a mystery as to my condition.  After 3  1/2 years of this condition, I am still not sure what this is doing to my body and if this medical condition will continue or progress into something more serious.  I have very long episodes and falling provides secondary injuries, mainly on my right side.  I will continue to find doctors to help explore this phenomenon.  I will still work feverishly to maintain some sense of a normal life, and accepting that I wil have an unusual life, with these complication.  I aways try to keep this in focus - there are many people that are much worse off than I am.
]]>Tue, 03 May 2011 09:49:40 -0800http://eilatheartist.com/1/post/2011/05/days-are-hard-but-you-try-to-stay-postive.htmlLast Monday I had to get a tooth extracted.  Seizures cause you to clinch your teeth with a force that is fierce.  I have already had several teeth that have needed work because of the seizures.  This was the worst.  Having a tooth removed.  Not fun.  Giving up a tooth and realizing that there will be more to come.  More teeth that get destroyed, more secondary issues due to seizures.  It is hard to confront that there will be more injuries to come.  I have a fear of dentists.  I have fear of small spaces.  What is smaller that a dentist room!  It is scary.  But everything went fine!  I did very well.  I went in feeling like a warrior that was facing a battle and that I needed to muster up the courage of some soldier.  It was powerful.  I felt like I could face it.  I am not very courageous these days, when I actually have a hard time meeting new people, going out of my house, riding in a car. or getting into an elevator...so this was a huge step!  I did it!  I
]]>Fri, 01 Apr 2011 07:03:30 -0800http://eilatheartist.com/1/post/2011/04/facing-the-unkown.htmlI suppose a Blog should be more consistent.  I know that a lot of people who Blog do this very regularly.  Unfortunately, with my condition there is a lot of injuries and time that gets spent in recovery.  Right now I have been really facing the Unknown about my condition.  The Dr.'s that I have seen still can't control the seizures.  More medication, different medication, higher doses of medication.  Then to find out more about the types of seizures that I am having.  Yes, there are several types; and I seem to be having multiple types of seizures.  The Unknown, waking up after a seizure, loosing time, wondering when the next one will happen; wondering if the next one will cause another serious injury or cause a stroke.  It is a hard life to lead when you face this uncertainty.  Then, to be a shut in....you spend a great amount of time having the chance to think about this; in between all the doctor visits.  Just try to have friends; have a seizure in front of them....you will surely not be invited back to their dinner party.  A seizure really scares people away.  I don't blame them.  But it becomes very lonely, quite, and in your own thoughts about your seizures and when the next one will arise out of the blue.  I try very hard to keep some sense of normality in my life, give myself a schedule and chores to do each day.  Most of the time, I don't finish my list, but as a shut in; you have to try hard to not to focus on your pain, on this unknown.  Otherwise, it will consume you.  So, I try to focus on the positive.  I am here!  I celebrated my 40th birthday, which I wasn't sure that I would be able too.  I have a very supportive family.  Another day allows me to try to give more information to the Doctors to help me and the chance to spend time with those I love.  "There is nothing to fear, except fear itself".  I try not to live in the fear of the unknown and take each day as a blessing.
]]>Fri, 28 Jan 2011 03:34:10 -0800http://eilatheartist.com/1/post/2011/01/pricing-why-are-there-no-prices-currently-posted.htmlPricing a piece is an artists nightmare.  Art is very subjective.  Some pieces take months for me to create, particularly the ones that are 4ft X 5ft.  Those are huge!  The canvas is expensive, the paint, then the time....and with my injuries.....it is time consuming.  So, I actually don't know what to charge.  I have consulted many artists.  They say just to put a price on it.  Start anywhere.   They don't have a pricing structure.  So, here is where I stand.  I will not turn down a reasonable offer! 

Acrylics take time- if it has a episode # attached there is a story behind it and be prepared to listen - and that painting means something and will probably end up in a coffee table book someday.

Watercolors are easier for me to do. And typically done when I am having to recuperate from either an episode or an injury/ surgery.

Glass works are a very new addition to my adventures; and I am getting used to my kiln.  So, take advantage of this!  I am game to let my experiments go at very nice prices!

Pastels are fun and messy at the same time.  I love their brilliance.  But I can't do them in bed like the water colors.  I have to go to the studio.  So, I do them when my right arm gets too weak to hold a brush or my right knee just doesn't want to stand anymore.

SIZE MATTERS!  Make an offer that reflects the size of the piece. 

Remember that artists are just trying to cover costs, and make enough to move onto the next painting!

I love my paintings, don't get me wrong.  They adorn my entire house.  Each one I look at and I rotate them throughout the year, so I revisit them, like friends.  But, I am not a storage facility.  And I would like to make more paintings for people to enjoy and for people to understand what happens to me in my brain when I have seizures.  I really think that is important.  I am hoping that somehow that will help other people that have brain injuries.  Maybe, somday soon I will be bold enough to put prices.  B
]]>Wed, 26 Jan 2011 11:30:31 -0800http://eilatheartist.com/1/post/2011/01/what-is-a-seizure-like.htmlI have had several people ask me what it feels like to have a seizure.  I wish I could explain that.  I can tell you more about the after effects. I actually don't get any warning signs that some people get.  I just fall down, which makes my seizures pretty dangerous.  I also only have one side (my left) that moves vigorously.  My family describes my movement as though someone has given me an electric shock or I have been tazered.  It is not pretty.  Like I said, I can tell you about the after effects, I am very tired.  I sometimes can't feel my right side, and we don't know why.  I am disorientated.  Sometimes, I say some goofy things.  But mostly I just have to go to bed.  It can take days before I really feel normal again.  I don't actually feel the movements that I am doing.  I feel the bruises and the pain in the upcoming days.  Sometimes, I am amazed at where the bruises show up.  My back, legs, arms.  I have face-planted just like a tree falling over several times.  Most of the time though I will fall on my right side, because that is my weakest side.  I don't know if these blogs will help anyone understand my paintings or seizure disorders any more, but I have gotten some interesting questions and thought that I would share some of my experiences.
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